I feel – that this is something I say all the time.
“I’m starting …”
“This is the start of…”
“I’m doing this new thing…”
Recently, I have had to realize that most things that I say I am starting, I have actually be working on for months, if not years – or my whole life. In regards to my creativity, I have always wanted to focus on my own work. It always seemed a bit selfish to me, as I am surrounded by incredibly talented artist and writers, and I’ve truly always found joy in exhibiting their talent. Easily why I have been drawn to jobs working in art galleries and the publishing industry.
Let’s not forget Time Frame and River Ram Press!
I cannot even tell you how much I have loved featuring the talents of my friends and those who found us and wanted to share their work with us! I had a blast, and was even able to find recognition at the London Book Fair – which blew my mind at the time, and even more so today.
I even had an easy-ish time as a ghost writer, as I was sharing the stories of others. The challenge was sharing their stories in their voices. Again, exhibiting them and their talents, rather than my own.
And among all of this, I’ve played with the idea of focusing on my own work. A much more challenging concept. While I have always had unbending confidence in the creativity of those I worked with/for/among, finding that confidence in myself has always been harder (which I know is perfectly normal). But, can you blame me? I’ve a collection of creative degrees, which means I have always been surrounded by talent, critiqued by talent, and inspired by talent! I watch those talents now and they are all still super talented! I find myself questioning (almost daily) if I’m on their level, or if I get to cheer for them as I doodle and dabble in my hidden world…
Those who received my Rockefeller Owl note cards were turning them into ornaments!
Anyway – my point is, I have started. Years ago.
In fact, I think I can safely say that – I’m in the midst of something.
And it’s something that I need to push myself to believe in!
Does this mean I have finally surpassed the hurdle of having confidence in myself, my creative work, and my ability to have my own business – supplied by my own content? No way! I’m still totally nervous! I’m still learning. I still need pep-talks from my friends and family. And, I’m still shocked each time someone chooses to bring home one of my illustrations.
So, while we have a habit of thinking ‘new year, new me,’ the reality is that it is a new year, but it’s the same ol’ me and I’m not starting. I’m growing. I’m learning. I’m continuing this thing that I began years ago, and taking my time with it!
I’ll know if I am doing it right, if I keep being creative.
So, if you’re reading this – thank you for joining me!
Thank you for your support and your kindness.
Now, let’s see how this goes…
Thank you for the most fantastic 2020 Holiday Season!